A Theory on Job’s “Friends”

I have a theory about the book of Job that I have spent much time this year contemplating. This book of the Bible has always been a bit of a mystery to me but earlier this year I read the book for the first time in awhile, and for the first time after my own tragic grief, losses, hurt, and pain, and saw some pieces of it from a completely different, and helpful, perspective.

To give some context if you haven’t read the book or it’s been awhile, Job is a man of old revered so highly by God that God actually asks Satan if he’s considered or noticed His faithful servant Job in his wanderings about the earth. Satan challenges God and tells Him that Job is only faithful because he has been blessed by God and encourages God to test Job’s allegiance with trials. God gives Satan more and more access to cause Job pain and hardship and Job subsequently loses his family, his fortune, almost everything. Satan then gets permission and smites Job with boils, harming his physical body and causing him epic misery.

At this point we see Job’s wife question why Job would cling to his faith in God as she encourages him to “curse God and die.” Then, we see 3 “friends” show up, then a 4th “friend.” The friends sit quietly with Job for a week which is the best thing they did for him, but then they open their mouths. The next chapters are filled with a back and forth dialogue between Job and his friends. His friends consistently accuse Job and/or imply that his own sin got him to the place he is in. This advice could seem well and even possibly good but because of the first two chapters of the book we know the actual story. We know the truth, that God did not bring this on Job because of his sin or to “teach him a lesson” but rather it was allowed because of Job’s abundant faithfulness. The words of his friends, no matter how well meant, are so cruel and so utterly false. In chapter 32, the character of Elihu starts to talk. Elihu declares he’s going to “say what everyone else is thinking” and he speaks from a space of anger (NEVER a good idea). In fact, he indicates that the Spirit of God has given him things to say to Job. Elihu is ruthless with his words and falsely accuses and rebukes Job in a time when Job should have been held up, supported, and comforted.

Finally, God speaks to them all. He asks a lot of questions and tells the friends they were wrong. He instructs the “friends” to make offerings alongside Job and says He will not do to them as their foolishness deserves. When Job prayed for these friends, God restored his fortunes and gave him double what he had before (side note: praying for those who hurt us matters, but that is a lesson to unpack on another day).

When I read this book again earlier this year, I was struck by verse 11 of chapter 42: “THEN all his brothers, all his sisters, and all who had known him before came to him, and they ate bread with him in his house; and they sympathized with him and comforted him for all the adversities that the Lord had brought on him.” Wait! Where have these people been all this time? Where have the sympathizers and comforters been? This is the group that contains his real friends. Who were the “friends” that have been hanging around saying mean things? Who are the friends that thought the Spirit of God sent them? I have a theory:

I think that the initial “friends” that come to see Job (and also possibly his own wife’s responses) are actually a part of Satan’s testing of Job.

It makes sense that Satan would want to go after Job’s mind along with everything else, right? God gave Satan access to Job’s body, which includes his mind, in chapter 2. Never in chapter 2 does it state that “Satan was finished” as I have always assumed. I believe Satan wasn’t finished until the last chapter of the book and all the ugly words brought by Job’s friends are actually an example of the way he attacks us even still today.

If you ever want to hear the absolute dumbest of sayings, go through a trial. Almost nobody knows what to say when they see someone else in pain or in the midst of hardship. I remember people saying things to us like “just relax” when we were struggling through infertility. Excuse me? In our church’s grief group, we actually had an entire class devoted to dealing with all the hurtful and theologically incorrect things that people say to us when we are in pain. I really don’t think many people mean to but I really do think that Satan uses people’s “sometimes-well-intentioned-but-poorly-executed-words” as part of our trials as he feeds them half-truths to share with us.

I’ve often tried to pick out where the truth and lies are in the inner chapters of Job. I get confused, it gets very muddy. “You are impatient… and horrified. is your fear of God not your confidence and the integrity of your ways your hope?…those who sow trouble harvest it” (chp 4). “But as for me, I would seek God, and I would make my plea before God…do not reject the discipline of the Almighty” (chp 5). “If only God would speak, and open His lips against you, and show you the secrets of wisdom!…If you would direct your heart rightly and spread out your hands to Him..then, indeed, you could lift up your face without moral blemish” (chp 11). “Your lips testify against you…what do you know that we do not know?…are the consolations of God too little for you?” (chp 15). “…He punishes you…is your wickedness not abundant, and is there no end to your guilty deeds?…be reconciled with Him and be at peace; thereby good will come to you…if you return to the almighty” (chp 22).

I’ll let you read on in the book yourself to find out more. Honestly, I was personally offended and triggered when I read this book, especially Elihu’s words, earlier this year. Memories of pain and doubt and fear flooded my mind. Why? Because the same NOT Holy Spirit that convinced Elihu to say this to Job years ago has used the exact same methods to torture me.

I almost laugh and also cry when I think about this, about how Job is one of the very first chronological books of the Bible and, all these years later, the enemy has yet to change his tactics.

Don’t we all, just like Job’s friends, have confident ideas on what we would do in any given situation? Don’t we all think we know the exact right thing to say when someone is struggling? What horrifies me is that Job’s friends all seem to think they have come to offer the wisdom of God to Job. They speak in eloquent and deep and well thought out ways. I wonder, shuttering inside, whether I, too, have ever spoken to someone on the enemy’s behalf instead of speaking truth from God. I wonder how often my need to fill silence led to words that harmed. I wonder when, like Jesus, I should have just sat and wept with a friend and instead I spread more harm than healing.

Job’s healing began, not when he trusted God more or when he learned a new spiritual lesson or when he changed his ways. His healing began when he forgave. His healing came when he forgave the people who made the biggest trial of his life harder than it had to be. His healing came when he offered a sacrifice on their behalf and ministered to his frenemies. That’s when his real friends showed up. That’s when his real friends brought comfort and healing. I wonder at times if Job ever questioned the truth and comfort brought by his real friends because the lies his not-friends said swirled around in his head or if he knew truth and God so well that he stood faithfully on that.

I encourage you to read the book of Job again from this lens. Watch how the enemy brought these potentially well-meaning individuals together to share their own thoughts and opinions, convincing them that they were actually ministering to this grieving man. Watch for the half truths and the lies sprinkled around each other so intricately that it’s difficult to discern at times which is which.

And the next time you see a friend who is hurting, stop, pray, truly seek scripture and the Lord and wise counsel, and choose to lift up the broken in their time of need. Weep with those who weep. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Take a casserole to your friend. Tell them “God is faithful” and stop talking if you need to. Be careful, intentional, loving, and patient. Point them to God’s word as you bear their burdens. Love them.